Hello world, it’s been a while since I’ve done any kind of blogging. Certainly a long time since my gaming friends and family have heard from me. So what happened?
Digging A Deep Well of Depression
I don’t tend to express my feelings well, and they are certainly not something that I like to throw out onto my blogging. They are mine and I like them stuck in my head where they can wreak havock…apparently that is an “unheathly” way of looking at things. You see I’d spent the better part of 2 years planning a wedding, which is A LOT of work, and also a HUGE distraction from what’s really going on in your life. So…after the wedding was over and I no longer had the burden joy of planning and making sure things went right, I was smacked in the face with the realization that I was in a very crappy job, being paid next to nothing, with no benefits and it was costing me almost as much in gas to get there as I was making. I was depressed, which as a newly wed is even more depressing. I quit my horrible job, with the plans of using my savings to hold us over until I could find a job.
What felt like forever later, really it was only a little over a month, my wonderful father in law told me that his job was hiring. I would be working in a retail pharmacy call center…BUT I would be making pretty good money. MUCH better than I was previously making at least, with…wait for…BENEFITS. In my adult life I’ve never had a job that gave me benefits. /cry
But What About Gaming?
So the funny horrible thing about depression is, you don’t want to do anything, you also don’t want to tell your friends whats going on cause then you’d have to talk about it, and that certainly not what friends are for…(read: SARCASM)
So I had this whole I don’t want to do anything, plus my raiding team was falling apart, and in general things weren’t going well. Which compounded the issue.
So there I sat in my gaming room, with ALL the time in the world, cause I was unemployed, and I just watched TV. I feel like that should have been a really big warning light for me, but it wasn’t. My husband would ask if everything was ok, and I would say YEAH! I play normal REALLY REALLY well.
World of Warcraft didn’t appeal to me, League of Legends brought me no happiness, I was even getting irritated with the tabletop game that I played with my IRL friend.
So What Happened?
Now I work 40 hours a week min, doing a job I thought I would hate, but I love. I get to help people that are in pain, and the associates that I work with are wonderful. Plus I have an amazing Supervisor! I get paid a living, something I can survive off of, and slowly…very slowly I’m getting back to me. I imagine that sometime soon I will be able to get back to gaming, and get back to writing, but until then I must say thank you to everyone that has stuck by me through this whole mess.