Department of Children and Family Services
The first time someone told me about Children’s Week I had the normal, “Aww, I get to adopt an orphan for the week and show them what having a hero is really like?”
Then I read some of the achievements.
Ok so the idea is that you have your Orphan out, and then use your hearthstone to teleport to your home point, basically abandoning your poor sweet charge wherever you hearthed from.
That in and of itself is kinda messed up, but what is really, really wrong is that people try to find the worst places to leave their orphan. Say like in Tanaris surrounded by swarms of creepy flying insects, or better yet the creepy hills of Western Plaguelands, where perhaps a horribly disfigured and rotting bear can find them and maul them.
So basically your taking this child that has been released into our care, and we’re supposed to further traumatize them. This is the tip of the iceberg.
Come with Me and Watch Bloody Murder
Hail to the King, Baby, which is the achievement for having your Orphan out when you kill King Ymiron in Utgarde Pinnacle.
Come along my adopted child I will show you what a real hero does, death, murder, unabashed slaughter of everything.
Which lets face it this is the best thing you can do with a child when their young minds are being shaped. Especially when they’re so influenced by the actions of their elders.
This people is how the Archbishop Benedictus became who he was.
Playing Well with Others
Last, and certainly the most awful and pain in the ass achievement School of Hard Knocks.
This lovely ditty has, you return a Warsong Gulch flag, assault a node in Arathi Basin, assault a tower in Alterac Valley and cap a flag in Eye of the Storm all with your innocent, though at this point their innocence has been shattered, Orphan with you.
While its awful enough that you are exposing your child to the horrors of all of these battlegrounds, you’re also showing them the truly horrible nature of human, and otherkind.
Cause lets face it, no one is nice about this achievement. They will cut your throat and steal your flag, they will cheerfully allow you to be ganked just so that they can finish capturing a node. It’s everyman for himself.
So yes, I think that the Department of Children and Family Services should be called immediately on all the participating Orphanages in Azeroth and Outlands, they know that this is happening and they should be stopped.
Aren’t the pets for this holiday ADORABLE!